2: The Lies We Tell
Kihrin’s story
Inside Vol Karoth’s prison, just after Kihrin’s death
Then, after some interminable time, I felt him.
Vol Karoth was a hollow place just under my sternum, like the gut twist of loss that scrapes one’s insides clean and leaves only stupefaction in its wake. He lurked in the back of my throat, in the unbidden sting of tears with no cause, in the creeping sour taste of malice under my tongue. Vol Karoth was empty and dark and endless. A bottomless cup that could never be filled.
Before I found him, he found me.
There was no warning before the ambush. One moment, I was walking along, and the next . . . a surge of anger, of hatred, of darkness barreled to ward me. I parried the blow; even then, the force of his swing pushed me back along the street. Stones splintered underfoot. A sound wave blasted outward. Had this been the real world I would have been dead.
Vol Karoth slammed into me, darkness and shadow given form. I couldn’t see his face—he existed as nothing more than an outline—but I knew his ex pression would have been the most hateful and malicious scowl.
How dare you.
His voice was a raspy whisper, a hollow echo bouncing down long, empty streets.
Now you return? Now you think to conquer me? You fool.
“Wait,” I stammered out. “You wanted me back—”
It was hard to explain oneself while fighting for one’s life. His sword strike bounced past my defenses and sliced a line of brilliant pain along my arm.
Explain how you think I’m a mistake. Explain how you think you can control me. Dominate me. How you can destroy me, take my place. Do you think I cannot recognize betrayal? Was I not born in the fires of betrayal?
So I had a problem.
This wasn’t a child. This wasn’t someone injured and hurting, whose will wasn’t strong enough to fight off a more spiritually mature opponent (myself, I had naïvely assumed). Vol Karoth was a full-grown adult. A full-grown god. A full-grown god who saw through all my plans, knew what I’d intended to do, and laughed at my intentions.
Is it fun, I wonder? To think yourself so much better than me? Than our brother? But the two of you are not so different.
He never stopped attacking.
I wanted to ignore his words, but it was difficult when he began comparing me to Rev’arric. “Don’t—it’s not like that.”
Is it not? Don’t try to hide how you feel. You can’t. Not from me.
The next strike fell along my hip. I screamed as I stumbled backward.
I expected you to be better. His voice was grim, amused, hateful.
I didn’t know what to do. I was keeping him back, but only barely. I didn’t think I’d be able to do so forever. He seemed in no danger of becoming fatigued; I had the terrible suspicion it wasn’t possible for him to become fatigued. He’d stay here in this prison, with all this power, never tiring, never waning, all his hatred focused on me. Forever.
So I did the only thing I could: I ran.
PHOTO CREDIT: MATTHEW & NICOLE NICHOLSON, DIM HORIZON STUDIO |
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