"You've got some asshole customers, though," he added. “This one guy wanted to haggle over how much we charged. Especially since we didn’t offer extra ‘amenities’ and didn’t offer him delivery. Total douchebag.”
She sighed. “GMC van owner? Wears a beanie?”
“Yeah. You know him?”
She shrugged. “He was kind of a sexist asshat when he dropped it off. Was looking for the mechanic — a man, obviously, not a woman like me.”
She couldn’t help but notice that Jericho looked her over quickly, lingering on her chest just a second after she said woman. His eyebrow went up. “And you didn’t kill him?”
“Nope. I did my patented calming technique, went hyper-cheerful, and sent him on his way.”
Jericho moved closer, all but whispering in her ear. “Someday, you gotta teach me this technique of yours.”
She shivered. I’d love to teach you muscle-tensing and relaxing techniques. Which only brought back memories of last night’s dream.
“Do you really want to know?” she quickly asked, heading off that avenue of thought.
“Yeah, I do.” He smiled at her.
“Promise not to tell anyone?”
“Who am I gonna tell?” She could tell he was trying not to laugh. “Okay, I promise.”
Now she was dying with embarrassment. What was she thinking? Leaning forward, she buried her head against his chest, then muttered, “I do kegels.”
She felt him stiffen. “You… eat bagels?” he asked.
She started snickering, then giggling, then laughing even harder, until he laughed along with her, lightly looping his arms around her.
“Not bagels,” she corrected, breathlessly, her cheeks hurting from smiling. “I do kegels.”
He blinked, leaning back to stare at her. “You do… kegels?” he repeated.
“When I get stressed out, or a customer pisses me off, or I get mansplained by some douchebag cosplay guy or something,” she whispered. “I just smile like Pollyanna on meth and do kegels until the desire to strangle them passes.”
He stared at her for a long moment, and she wondered if he was shocked or uncomfortable, until he started laughing, much like she had. In fact, he’d released her and was doubled over, leaning against a wall. “Oh, my God,” he said, wiping at his eye. “You are too much. Really. You are nuts.”
“Sure, laugh now,” she said, poking him in the midsection and looking up at him, her eyes bright with mischief. “But someday I’ll be a Zen monk who can bend a metal bar with her hoohah, and who’ll be laughing then, huh?”
No comments:
Post a Comment