Chapter 1
Ashley
My awareness of him ate at me like a tumor I couldn’t kill.
I didn’t have to look behind me to know that Casek was still seated at the same table he’d occupied for the past three hours. Back to the wall. Eyes devouring the room. Cigarette perched casually between two fingers, one end melting slowly into ash. He’d hardly moved from his seat all night.
I’d partied, danced, laughed, and cheered. I’d allowed myself to be swept up in the celebratory current of the packed nightclub, but all the while, his brooding presence remained lassoed around my middle, ensuring I couldn’t ignore him completely.
I had tried to tell myself over the past five months of living at the Huntsman that I didn’t care, but if that were the truth, why did he show up on my radar at all? Why was he the first person I noticed in a room and the only one I couldn’t seem to forget when my eyes closed at night? Why did I always end up gravitating toward him, trying to start conversations and finding ways to coax out the tiniest reactions from him?
Casek wasn’t just quiet; he was a hawk high above everyone around him, the embodiment of predatory vigilance. His waters ran so deep that a girl could drown in the undertow. I knew better than to wade into such dangerous territory.
I. Knew. Better.
So why can’t I fucking let it go?
Each minute at the party ticked away like drops of Chinese water torture, wearing down my patience. I’d even been so bothered that I’d broken my strict one-drink-an-hour limit. I’d never in my life been more than a little tipsy because I regulated my alcohol intake like a hawk. Peer pressure had never remotely tempted me to break my rule, but Casek drove me to a state beyond reason. And when the vodka from my fourth lemon drop martini filtered into my bloodstream, it melted away the last of my restraint. I gave in to the overwhelming need to lash out against the relentless pull toward him.
Slipping from my chair, I drifted away from the table I’d been sitting at with half a dozen other people. They were all too engrossed in conversation to notice my departure, unhindered by the same type of debilitating awareness I’d been enduring. When I zoned in on my intended target, his perceptive stare was already trained on me, despite the steady crisscross of people passing between us.
My heart surged into my throat, attempting to keep pace with the pulsing beat of the music. Weaving between oblivious clubgoers, I made my way to Casek. He tracked my every movement without betraying a hint of what he might be thinking. I’d yet to see the man succumb to emotion since I’d known him. He was the most controlled, stoic man I’d ever met, and it made me desperate to rattle him. To see him feel an ounce of the discomposure he caused me on a daily basis. My unyielding stare speared him through as I approached. A chair sat unoccupied next to him, but I wasn’t there to sit and chat. Besides that, I preferred the advantage of higher ground. I walked straight up where he sat, stopping just inches away, and propped my hands on my hips. “Why did you come tonight if you were going to sit in a corner and ignore everyone?”
God, what a relief it was to say the words that had been burning on my tongue for hours. Casek held my gaze as he lifted the cigarette to his lips, hollowed out his cheeks with a pull of polluted air, then blew the smoke off to the side while slowly smothering the butt in an ash-filled tray. When he leaned forward and stood, I retreated a step. I hadn’t wanted to concede ground to him without a response from him, but his hulking frame proved too dizzying.
His proximity left me unbalanced and in need of air.
Before I could demand an answer, his hand clamped over my wrist and tugged me toward the back hallway. His pace was determined but reasonable, so I had no trouble keeping up, at least not physically. My emotions, however, were reeling. From relief to worry to excitement to anger and beyond—I struggled to settle on how I felt. With a man like Casek who gave away so little, it was impossible to know my own feelings.
He led me past the office and bathroom doors down to the conference room and pulled me inside, calmly closing the door behind us and releasing me.
The city lights from outside the windows lit the room with a soft glow. Not enough light to detail the flecks of gold in his jade-green eyes, but enough to see a hint of tension in the set of his shoulders. The seemingly benign gesture of pulling me away from the party was an explosive response coming from him. He gave off an unaffected air, but I knew otherwise, and that knowledge kept my lips tightly sealed for once. I’d hopscotched my way into the middle of a minefield and wasn’t sure retreat was an option.
Casek rubbed his fingers along his jaw as he considered his words. “For someone having the time of her life, you seem awfully concerned with a man minding his own business.” His words slithered through the shadows and crept along my skin, unleashing an army of goose bumps on my bare arms.
I fought to focus on what he’d said rather than the maddening way his voice made me feel. “Because you’re bringing down the entire vibe by brooding in the corner.”
“Am I not allowed to celebrate in my own way?”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “No, not if you’re going to do it like that.” It was a ridiculous thing to say. I knew it. He knew it. He had every right to be as boring as he wanted, but I was too irritated to back down.
“Tell me, Ashley Moore.” He stepped closer, his voice softening to a lethal caress. “If there are unspoken rules to this little celebration, why are you here?”
Shock hit me in the pit of my stomach.
I’d known he didn’t like Becca and I around, but I hadn’t thought after all this time he would still harbor such resentment. Did he still see us as just a couple of human tagalongs? The insinuation touched on a nerve. I’d been turned Fae five months earlier in order to save my life. The feat had never been accomplished before, which meant no one knew exactly what would happen to me. However, I’d been assured that the other Fae could sense my Fae-ness and that my powers would develop with time. I’d been thrilled at the prospect of possessing the ability to wield magic, yet there’d been no sign of these elusive powers. Instead, I’d been trapped in a purgatory of uncertainty for months.
“Are you saying I don’t belong because my powers haven’t manifested?” My voice shook with barely controlled outrage. “Because they will. I have as much right to be here as you do.” Casek stilled. “Don’t put words in my mouth,” he growled. “I’m asking why you’re here tonight
when you have just as little desire to celebrate as I do.”
My brows shot together in confusion. “I do want to celebrate. I’m happy for Becca and everything she accomplished. I want to celebrate her win over Morgan just as much as everyone else out there.” He moved another inch closer. “You want to want it, but your heart isn’t in it. I think you desperately wished you’d been the one sitting alone at that table, and that’s why you’re so damn angry.” I’d never felt so exposed in my life.
I tried to fall back a step but found myself against the wall in more ways than one. I hated that he’d seen past my beaming smile and artificial effervescence. No one else had been remotely aware of the disquiet lurking beneath my shiny surface.
How had he known? Why had he even looked closely enough to see past the illusion? I’d known he was vigilant, but that kind of intuitive perceptiveness was rare. If he read everyone so easily, it was no wonder he kept to himself.
“You know nothing about me,” I whispered, my voice as lost as I felt.
He tilted his head, eyes drifting to my lips. “I know enough.” Casek placed his hands on either side of my head and leaned in to bring his cheek close to mine. “I know you want something out of your reach, and no amount of alcohol or dancing will fill that void.” The predatory desire in his voice sent my hazy brain spinning.
“You sound like you’re familiar with the feeling.” So breathless. Breathe, Ash. His body slowly relaxed into mine. “Who says anything is out of my reach?”
Holy. Shit.
Was Casek … flirting with me? Or was the alcohol in my veins making me delusional? It had to be the alcohol.
He’d never shown me the slightest interest in five months. When I charged over to his table in the club, I had expected him to ignore my existence entirely. This explosion of pent-up desire wafting off him was disorienting.
Maybe it was some kind of sick joke.
Maybe he was getting me riled up before walking away and laughing at my expense. That had to be it because I couldn’t reconcile this perceived reality with the man I’d come to know. I studied him, trying to see behind his mask. To see through to his true intentions. He wasn’t the joking type, but none of this made sense. We couldn’t have been more different from one another if we’d tried. Could he possibly truly desire me?
It’s sex, Ash, not marriage. Maybe this is exactly what you need to get him out of your system. Shit. Maybe I was right. I was overthinking everything. Sex was sex, and maybe that was all I needed. Then I could scrub Casek from my mind for good. At the very least, it would be an ideal way to relieve some of this nagging tension I’d been trying to manage.
Fuck it.
Tired of fighting with myself, I slammed the door on logic and gave myself over to the moment. I could always blame the alcohol, but I knew, in reality, it had only been a catalyst. This was exactly what I’d wanted for months, and the relief of finally surging forward and pressing my lips to his was all-consuming.
Like a match to kindling, our kiss ignited an inferno.
Our bodies slammed together like magnets free to unite without obstruction. My teeth collided
with his, or maybe it was the other way around. It didn’t matter. Not even the tang of copper on our tongues slowed our crushing desire.
My hands snaked between us to tug open the button of his pants. He pulled his lips away from mine and lifted his fitted T-shirt over his head, exposing the most exquisite masculine chest I’d ever seen. He wasn’t lean muscle and taut skin. Casek was built of solid power—strength hewn from experience and use rather than lifting in a gym.
The sight was almost enough to distract me from the monster cock that sprang free from behind the pants I’d just unzipped. He’d worn nothing beneath his dark-wash jeans, allowing me an unobstructed view of everything he had to offer.
Everything about him was gorgeous—too gorgeous for his personality.
I’d assured myself in the past that he probably had a crooked shlong or trouble getting it up, and that was why he always seemed so moody.
I could unequivocally state now that I’d been wrong.
So incredibly wrong.
My lips parted, but words failed me. I wanted to stare at his majestic perfection for hours, yet my admiration was cut ruthlessly short when he spun me around to face the wall. I tried to turn in protest, but his large frame caged me in, his lips grazing the top of my ear. “We do it my way or not at all.”
“You have the wrong girl if you think I’m going to beg for any man’s cock.” I spoke over my shoulder, catching his dilated gaze from the corner of my eye.
Casek’s hand lowered to lift my tight dress above my hips, then caressed the generous globe of my backside while the scalding touch of his hungry gaze seared my skin. Only after he’d seen his fill and coaxed the anticipation in the room to a dizzying level did he return his lips to my ear.
“From you, I would expect nothing less.” His murmured words raked across my skin, igniting each tiny nerve ending beneath.
My eyelids drifted shut but flew open again when my lace thong was ripped away in a single swift motion. I was surprised, but most of my shock came from the sudden pressure of the fabric against my core just before the lace gave way. The surge of sensation was overwhelming in the most delicious, mind-bending way.
Casek tore through a foil condom wrapper behind me and sheathed himself as I recovered. He then wrapped one hand around my throat. The gentle pressure of his fingers teased at danger when I swallowed my surprise. He wasn’t choking me, but I wasn’t sure I approved of the possessive nature of the touch. Before I could protest, however, he was easing himself inside me, rocking forward in smooth, confident strokes. Once he’d buried himself fully inside me, his other hand snaked around my middle and pulled my lower half away from the wall, effectively bending me for better access.
The position was pure domination, and my body purred in approval.
Normally, I liked to be the one in control—life was easier when I set the tone from the beginning— but Casek wouldn’t play by those rules. He made that clear in every fiber of his being. Just this once, I allowed myself to surrender to a man’s touch. To Casek.
He was the architect of this splinter in time, constructing a moment of perfect harmony. Like a master craftsman, even when his pace intensified, he kept perfect control over himself and never once tightened his grip around my throat. He meant to control, not damage or disrespect.
I moaned, overwhelmed with sensation, and felt him thicken inside me.
“Yes, Caz. Just like that.” I braced my hands on the wall and pushed my ass backward, leaning into his thrusts and reveling in the feel of his touch.
The energy between us buzzed like a live wire. Chaotic and cataclysmic. It built to a maddening peak, both of us lost in the pursuit of what lay on the other side.
This was the release I desperately needed. A biological cocktail of endorphins to lift me out of the funk in which I’d been wallowing for weeks.
I met his movements stride for stride.
Took what he gave.
Demanded more in return.
When Casek’s fingers found their way down to my throbbing clit, it only took three swift circles around that swollen bundle before liquid napalm ignited in my veins.
“Fuck, woman. You squeeze me so fuckin’ tight.” His Irish drawl grew heavier as Casek tensed with his own release.
Through the ringing in my ears, the sound of his stunned exclamation sent a flutter of prideful butterflies through my chest. I’d rocked his world just as thoroughly as he’d rocked mine. Joy tugged upward at the corners of my mouth.
Casek held me close against his chest as we both recovered.
When our breathing slowed to a reasonable pace, he eased away from me. “Don’t move,” he ordered softly. He fastened his pants and disposed of the condom. At the small minibar built into the wall, he pulled off several sheets from a roll of paper towels and wet them in the sink. “Leg.” He squatted down beside me and patted his shoulder.
It was clear he meant to clean me, but the gesture was so unexpected that I froze. Not until his mossy green gaze lifted to mine did I set my leg over his shoulder. He proceeded to gently wipe me clean, the cool touch of the cloth soothing my swollen, heated flesh.
“Thank you.” I chewed at my bottom lip, suddenly at a loss for how to handle the situation. My head still buzzed with the effects of the alcohol, but I was mostly reeling over everything that had just happened. The sex. The domination. The kindness.
Casek stood and took my hand, leading me from the room. “Time for you to go home.” “But everyone’s still out there.”
“Don’t give a shit. You’ve had enough.”
He led us away from the club toward a back stairwell. It couldn’t have been past midnight, and the party was still in full swing, but I didn’t have the fight in me to challenge his directive. The post orgasmic flood of dopamine had left me relaxed and pliant. My brain was functioning on such a delay that I didn’t begin to question his intent in walking me home until we approached the door of my apartment several floors down from the club.
Was he taking me home for round two? Could I handle a second round with this man? As if I’d turn down a second chance at the best sex of my life.
When I unlocked the door, though, Casek made no move to follow me inside. “Did you … want to come in?” I asked with more uncertainty than I ever let myself show. “No.” His unwavering stare bore into me, not hinting at what he might be thinking. No guilt. No adoration. Nothing to help me understand what was happening between us.
He started to close the door, then paused. “Drink some water before you go to bed. Understood?” He waited for my nod before closing the door and disappearing.
I stared at the lifeless white door for several minutes, processing what had happened and what it all meant.
Holy shit, I just had sex with Casek!
Not just sex. Casek had owned my body and fucked me senseless.
My eyes rounded, and a maniacal grin split my face before I danced my way into my bedroom and fell back onto the bed. I wasn’t foolish enough to think anything meaningful would come of it, but the exchange had still felt monumental. Casek was the Fort Knox of men. Even a one-night stand with him felt like stealing a glimpse of the wizard perched behind the curtain. He was made of flesh and bone and carnal desires just like the rest of us, despite the cold-blooded image he projected.
I lay there so long, lost in thought, that the last of my energy drained away before I could take a quick shower. I should have at least taken off my makeup, but my veins still thrummed with alcohol and sex.
Giving in to the seductive lure of sleep, I tugged the comforter over me and drifted off with the rich taste of satisfaction still lingering on my tongue.
***
“Ash, honey. Wake up.”
The distant sound of Rebecca’s voice penetrated deep into my subconscious. My initial instinct was to swat anything threatening to disrupt my delightfully catatonic state, but a small sliver of rational thought reminded me that this was Becca talking, and she rarely woke me for no reason.
Reluctantly, I coaxed my eyes open and looked blearily at my best friend. “What time is it?” I could have sworn it wasn’t a minute later than four or five in the morning from the way I felt, but the light seeping in behind the drapes told a different story.
“It’s a little after nine. I’m so sorry to wake you, but I wanted to see you before I left.” “Before you left? Where are you going?” Her words pulled me fully awake, prompting me to sit up and note the formal nature of her dress and hair.
Becca didn’t get dolled up for the fun of it like I did. Something was up.
“Lochlan is taking me to Faery to talk to Queen Guin.”
“What? Why? Did she summon you?” The queen had warned Becca that once she was fully Fae, Becca would have to live in Faery. It was an issue we’d both have to face eventually, but I had assumed we’d have more time. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since Morgan had been defeated. “No. I want to do this on my terms.”
My eyes narrowed. “Bec, I’m not sure this is a good idea. Maybe you should let the sleeping dog lie. What if she doesn’t let you come back here?”
My heart rate quickened until I could feel it fluttering at the base of my throat. Becca shrugged. “I don’t want her threats hanging over me indefinitely. I know it’s a risk, but that’s why I wanted to see you before we go. If I’m not able to return, I don’t want you to worry about me. Do everything you can to stay here, and if you wouldn’t mind horribly, look after my parents.” Her brown eyes pleaded with mine as if I would ever tell her no.
“Of course, I would, but that’s not happening.”
She lifted her hand to stop me from arguing. “I’m just covering all my bases. I have a plan, but nothing is foolproof.” Becca spoke with a commanding confidence she hadn’t possessed when she first arrived in Belfast. My best friend had always been kind and generous, but now she radiated self assurance. Not the puffed-up kind that reeked of arrogance. Inner strength and accomplishment had sculpted her into a woman of power, and I couldn’t have been prouder.
“Okay, Bec,” I said, my voice quavering. “You be careful, and I’ll see you when you get back.” We came together in a sisterly hug. Neither of us had any actual sisters, but I was of the opinion that a chosen sister was even better—all of the best parts without the bickering. Bec was my sister from another mister, and I was so glad we were on this adventure together.
She was gone a few minutes later, and I was wide awake.
And worried.
If I didn’t find something to do while Becca was gone, I would go crazy with the uncertainty. I took a long, hot shower. It felt amazing, but I needed to get out of the apartment. I needed a distraction. Once I was dressed and ready for the day, I texted Liam, who had generously been training me in hand-to-hand combat over the past five months. I had no magic to develop, but that wouldn’t stop me from learning to protect myself however I could.
Chances were slim that Liam would be up after last night’s party, but I tried anyway. Five minutes passed without a response, so I put on a jacket and decided to grab some coffee. Caffeine was the last thing I needed for my nerves, but the comfort of sipping the warm, fragrant nectar sounded too good to pass up.
As always, the common areas of the Huntsman building were near silent before noon. The men of the Wild Hunt led a mostly nocturnal lifestyle. Between running a nightclub and hunting for Fae fugitives, their days didn’t truly begin until nightfall.
I walked around the corner to a local coffee shop and got a caramel Frappuccino, then headed back home. Hopefully, by the time I got back to the apartment, Liam would text back, and I could occupy myself with training. Stressing out wasn’t going to help Becca. Subjecting myself to needless suffering was pointless.
I was contemplating backup plans should Liam still be asleep when the doors of the elevator opened and brought me face-to-face with Casek. The gears in my head clanged together and ground to a halt at the sight of him. I hadn’t had a chance to even stress over a night-after interaction and plan for how I’d handle seeing him again.
“Oh, hey there,” I managed to stammer.
He looked incredible. Even more alluring than he had before, but maybe that was because I now knew what lurked beneath the façade.
Casek joined me in the lobby. His impassive eyes were the shadowed green of a pine forest, silent and secretive. “Ashley.” He dipped his chin, keeping several feet of space between us. “You’re up early.”
Was that reluctance I detected in his voice? He wasn’t giving off the slightest vibe of acknowledgment that we’d had sex the night before. Casek wasn’t the most amiable person on a good day, but he seemed stiff, even for him. Did he regret having sex with me? Was he worried I would expect some kind of commitment from him?
He could be simply having a bad morning, Ash. Not everything is about you.
In theory, that was true. And I could have given him more slack if his response wasn’t so freaking typical. The alpha stud acting aloof and indifferent after sex to discourage us sentimental females from becoming attached. As if. I wasn’t the simpering lovestruck type. If he thought I would cling to him in some desperate need for validation, he had another thing coming.
“Becca woke me up to let me know she was heading to Faery,” I said nonchalantly. Casek’s full lips thinned. “Lochlan told me.”
“He say why they were going?”
“Not exactly.”
“I take it you aren’t thrilled with them going?”
“Guinevere’s a powerful woman.”
“Let me guess. You tried to go with them, and Lochlan refused?”
He only scowled in response.
“I suppose as the boss, that’s his prerogative.” I accented the word boss, a somewhat immature jab at the fact that Casek was an underling, even if he was Lochlan’s right hand.
Judging from the way his eyes snapped to mine, he didn’t miss the veiled slight. “And what about the threat she poses to your best friend? You seem awfully indifferent.” He gave the steaming cup in my hand a quick glance.
“Rebecca’s tough. I trust she knows what she’s doing. Women aren’t all delicate flowers in need of protection, you know.”
He took a small step closer, a move calculated to intimidate. “What’s with the attitude?” My eyes widened innocently. “Attitude? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yes, I was being a little bitchy, but he was being an ass. Why did women always have to take the high road and be accommodating to grumpy men? I would never be so weak as to grovel for scraps of attention. His only response was a blistering stare that I met head-on.
“Look,” I continued, “I’m just doing my thing, making sure you don’t get any wrong ideas about last night. Yes, we had sex, but that doesn’t change anything. I think that’s something we can both agree upon.”
Casek didn’t move a muscle. Not a twitch or a blink.
He didn’t even breathe.
His stillness was disconcerting, but just before I began to wonder if he would argue, he spoke and confirmed my suspicions. “What a relief,” he said tonelessly. “I’m glad we both agree last night was a mistake.”
I kept my features perfectly schooled, but I hadn’t been able to control my lungs from rapidly expanding with air.
I’d thought Casek was worried about sending me the wrong message, but calling our night together a mistake was a whole other level of insulting. The insinuation reeked of regret, and that was downright hurtful.
“I think you mean epic,” I ground out, anger lacing each word. “It was an epic mistake.”
Copyright © 2022 Jill Ramsower
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