Welcome to the Official Blog Tour for Author Sam Hooker's Now Before The Dark, the third title in the Terribly Serious Darkness series, coming from Black Spot Books. Today, on our tour stop, we have a guest post featuring the topic: 10 quotes from Now Before The Dark. In addition to the featured post, we have a tour-wide giveaway to share, too! So... Be sure to check it out and grab your copy now! Follow the tour, HERE!
Adult
Humorous Fantasy
Series:
Terribly Serious Darkness, #3
Publish Date:
December 8, 2020
Publisher:
Synopsis:
Time is running out for the Old Country.
How does one save a nation when the erstwhile gods are against the idea? In the finale of Terribly Serious Darkness, it's up to Sloot Peril--the world's greatest accountant and poorest everything else--to figure it out.
Unfortunately, he'll have help. A philosopher who'd sooner die (again) than do any real work, a bard who can't play his non-instrument, and a spooky wizard who's often mistaken for a vampire may not be ideal allies, but with any luck—which Sloot's never had—they'll occasionally get out of his way.
Does Sloot stand a chance against serpent cults, demons, dragons, and the most sinister financial report every written? Doubtful. If he's even going to survive the dance contest, he'll have to think of something now, before the Dark swallows everything up.
*10 quotes from Now Before The Dark*
“Crime?” demanded the glowing red eyes from the other side of the door. “I beg your pardon?” “Load of good that’ll do you. Should’ve tried it on the judge.”
“They’re up to no good in there,” said Igor. His eyes narrowed in disapproval, or possibly envy.
Igor chewed a fingernail in thought, which would have been significantly less off-putting had it been one of his own.
Her expression was placid, unmoving. Not the peaceful serenity of a swan gliding aimlessly across a lake, but the pre-mischief consideration of a toddler pondering whether a tureen of soup would be more comfortable on the sofa.
As far as philosophers were concerned, humor was an illusion woven by the simple-minded to escape hard truths. Philosophers had far superior means of denial, not that you could make them admit it.
Arthur was making philosophical sausage. It was made of cast-off bits of proper philosophy, ground up in the mind of someone who’d barely passed his exams and shoved into a flimsy casing that had fallen off a cart, don’t ask any questions. It was a farce at best, but throw it on a plate with enough ketchup, and you’ll get someone to swallow it.
“‘Retirement’ is a fuzzy term in the espionage game,” said Franka. “Just when you think you’re out, they pull you back in for one last job. Good spies have half a dozen ‘one last jobs’ before they disappear, only to be found in some antiquated village where they’ve been making shoes for the locals after ten years.” “What happens then?” “They get pulled back in for one last job.”
It’s known in Infernal anthropological circles that gremlins are closely related to goblins. So closely related, in fact, that there would be grave concerns about inter-breeding if gremlins were capable of that sort of thing. As luck would have it, gremlins do not participate in parentage. They are spawned of mischief, usually when teenagers write swear words on things that don’t belong to them.
Summoning Bartleby was easy: just place a black candle in a dark room. It hadn’t worked the first few times Sloot had tried it, owing to his assumption the candle should be lit. Apparently, that ruined the effect.
The sun was setting over Salzstadt. Sloot and Myrtle watched the bustling queues moving freely through the main gate, which hadn’t closed in over a week. That didn’t sit well with the traditionalists, who were working around the clock to find a loyalist way to disagree with the Domnitor’s decision on the matter.
Praise for NOW BEFORE THE DARK
"With a lyrical tone and hilarious dialogue that do double duty with its world building, the novel continues the brilliant satire seen in the series’ earlier books...whimsical adventure, and frequent, humorous plays on words, spoofs of contemporary events, and clever reversals of expected dynamics make Now Before the Dark a delight." —C. Foster, Foreword Reviews
" Fans of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams will appreciate the farce and puns that are the hallmark of Hooker’s writing." —Dawn Kuczwara, Booklist
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Binge read the Terribly Serious Darkness series now!
(covers link to Goodreads)
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**About the Author**
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| Photo Content from Sam Hooker |
Sam Hooker writes darkly humorous fantasy novels about thing like tyrannical despots and the masked scoundrels who tickle them without mercy. He knows all the best swear words, though he refuses to repeat them because he doesn't want to attract goblins.
Stay connected with Sam Hooker
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***The Giveaway***
Giveaway Open Internationally | Must be 13+ to Enter
- ends December 28, 2020
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